Thursday, December 8, 2011: 11.56
Well it has been a crap week. The second half, at least. Decided to dig myself out of a ditch this morning. Enough is enough. Wallowing time is OVER. Michael's thoughtful tumbler of iced coffee (sorry, tepid) helped as well. He needed rent money, ergo he needed me up, dressed and out the door to get it. He talked about securing enough rent from me for the next however many months should I be incapacitated. With his financial skills I was in the shower, swishing, swashing, slurping, guzzling pills, brushing and mousse-ing teeth, sooner than I could swallow my drink. While dressing, for the supermarket onslaught, I added on Ten Pin Bowling, (to re-shape Amy's Party plan as her four BFFs from school are away for January 9 - the usual Darwin evacuation). Chemist and library were thrown in for good measure, got to keep well-stocked in Panamax. Also on the hunt for red lipstick. Can't think why other than it's Christmas. And a book I've devoured recently, "The Elegant Art of Falling Apart" by chemochic blogger, Jessica Jones. Geminis never do Anything singly.
So, a massive attack of chores accomplished this morning, probably not the best way to come out of a bed-bound week. For the past four years I have been blessed with a massive migraine prior to every period and mid-cycle (courtesy of Peri or pre-menopause, which I suspect is fouler than the full blown older sister). This week's migraine went from Saturday afternoon till Tuesday evening with a couple of respites here and there. According to literature thrust my way recently, chemo or radiation or both bring on menopause. Hallelujah! Praise the Lord. A Fringe Benefit. I hope.
Part of me feels I am to blame for bringing on the migraine. There are things I could have handled better. Rushing around a supermarket Saturday lunchtime hurling ingredients for a trifle and an afternoon tea party into the trolley. Flying home to startle the child into the kitchen - all in the cause of setting a jelly by 4pm. It could've been handled better. Whipping the cream to butter was interesting too. Haven't done that for a long time. When the tea party was deferred I took my sore head to bed.
I dragged myself to church on Sunday to collect the child who had enjoyed a sleepover and was sehr tired. Collected the tea party friend visiting from NSW who was full of good cheer. Kept it together long enough to hear loads of news, tips and advice before collapsing back into bed again.
Thank God the Panamax is still working for I've been taking it round the clock. Popped another couple to ride me through Carols By Candlelight, Sunday evening. Thought I would spew before dark but for the glorious, green bowl of grass, the Darwin Ampitheatre and the rainbow lorikeets soaring overhead, their breasts fluorescent orange in the sunset. The wonderful brass band and Scottish pipers, the huge crowds decked out in green and red and silly headgear. The sea of red and white flickering candles as the old favourites, "Away in a Manger", "Jingle Bell Rock", "O Come All Ye Faithful" were pumped out. As our family-friendly tribe cracked nuts, Brazil, hazel, walnut, the traditional way. Now, I know why that Christmas ballet is called, "The Nutcracker". Bit slow, but then my family always had our nuts roasted or coated in chocolate...
It was a charming evening, capped off with captivating firecrackers, massive, beautiful, loud and splendiferous. Child and I got separated from Father and nut supplier friend at the end but after a short wait at the car and some firey gesticulations, "All's Well that Ends Well".
Monday was a recovery day, to wallow, awaiting the yanking of two wisdom teeth on Tuesday. Tuesday was the devil warmed up and served cold day. If I never see a dentist ever again it will be a day too soon. Next appointment, December 20! Oh, the nurse and dentist were polite and kind, as far as that goes, while injecting a metre long needle of whatever into my gum while I can't open my mouth a fraction without tearing wincing in agony.
Thank God that's over! I may have slipped a few extra Panamax into the mix yesterday. All I did was mope and take pills. There was much gushing of blood, and my period joined in. A meeting in the morning, with a cheery chap from Perth, saved me from an hour of self-pity.
I indulged my lack of desire or inability to move or live Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday with the whole fourth series of "Big Love". Enthralling. Lifted me from my world of pain though their Mormon drama can be a bit full on at times. I was relieved when the third disc played out the final episode.
I thought I was going to die last night. About 9pm I was sure I would vomit from a Panamax overdose. My blood pressure dropped to a dizzying low and I was porcelain pale. My head still throbbed and there was massive toothache in both sides of my mouth, though the right lower where the stitches were was far worse. I contemplated all sorts of dire ends as I stretched out in the gloom in bed, I was definitely going to Accident & Emergency. Funnily enough, breath, prayer and meditation got me through the night. I did not want to surface this morning. Amy had already begged Daddy to escort her to school on her bike as she was afraid of being abducted. She's been watching too much news... Michael says she's paranoid. "We'll be taking her to Tamarind (local mental health centre) next". Well we know where she gets that from.
At 7.40am, I was content to pull the pillow closer and hug my stuffed Emperor Penguin tight as I wished Amy a lovely day at school. It was not until Michael returned, mowed the lawn and made me drink tepid coffee, that I considered getting up may be possible.
The highlight of this mainly lost week was Friday when I was bathed in the fabulousness of friendships. Unfortunately, like most women, I must have talked four legs off a donkey that day. Such a pleasant break to be with witty, wise women and free of medicos. However, I outpaced myself, leaving my throat hoarse, sore, tired and ripe for the four-day migraine that ensued.
A notable feature this week has been how many dear well wishers have recommended extra treatments for my cancer.
One I managed to take on board today is:
A teaspoon of organic honey mixed with a teaspoon of Tumeric, morning and night. Yum! A little spicy. If you like your honey curried; an acquired taste.
Give up sugar as cancer thrives on it: Bit Tricky ... swap to Dextrose instead. Hmm
Lymphatic Massage - Waiting to receive notes ... and find out more
Bowen Therapy - maybe to help with the Trismus (lockjaw) - would definitely like to research this one more
A stint at the Ian Gawler Retreat in the Yarra Valley - for Meditation, Relaxation, eating organically to fight off cancer, etc and re-aligning my life: Highly Appealing!
12.43
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